Night Terrors

Did you know that if you don't rake your leaves, sometimes at night you can hear creatures in your yard that aren't actually there?

I'd like to say that I don't believe in boogeymen but the honest reality of it is I do.  I do believe something is out there and is going to kill me.  I don't know if it's a sneaky, slimy snake or a majestic lion-type beast ready to pounce me but for a split-second on any given evening, I am 100% certain it is going to end my life.

It is completely irrational.  It's the middle of October in a somewhat urban upstate New York neighborhood where neither anacondas nor tigers roam.

Do snakes "roam?"  I'm not sure if that's the proper terminology.  I feel like they should still be able to roam even though they don't have limbs.  Do they have one limb?  Is there body also a limb or is it just a body?

I'll even get further down my delusion as I get detached from reality.  Sometimes in my backyard at night, I'll hear a sound and I'll imagine dragons.  Not the shitty band, ACTUAL FUCKING DRAGONS.

I know the simple solution is to stop smoking so that I'll have no need to be in the backyard after dark.  I'll look into that but I'm certain the beasts would just follow me anywhere.  I might not hear them in the backyard anymore but I know they'll just lurk under the bed or in a closet inside somewhere.  I'm sure they'll never leave my side.  They're just waiting for the right time to strike.